STAFF TRAINING PROCEDURES

(Read this if you think you want to work here)

In our intense “Eastern influenced” custom t-shirt training, we first cleanse new trainees by starving them for 7 days. Buddhist monks use this technique; we thought it might work for us too.

During the second week, they live off nothing but the bare essentials: tequila, lemon, and salt. In the third week, we hang them upside down for 6 hours while they design shirts right side up. Anyone who makes it to the fourth week of training frightens us.